Gonzo: Ahoy, matey!

Blerd: What’s shakin’, bacon?

G: Ah, you know. trying to get my shit together, as always.

B: Well, we gots some cover convos to do!

G: Awwwww yeah! Lay it on me, brother.

B: OK, so this is one of my absolute FAVORITE songs of all time.

G: “Pumps and a Bump?”

B: Oh GOD, no!

G: Just checking.

B: UGH, I need to take a shower now.

Meantime, feast your ears on a little Bonnie!

G: A classic, absolutely beautiful track.

B: Yeah, man…fantastic piano by Bruce Hornsby. Heartbreaking vocal by Bonnie.

G: Oh wow, I didn’t realize this is from Luck of the Draw, for some reason I thought it was later.

B: It’s easy to diss the Grammys, but they definitely brought her to a MUCH larger audience…and this song also makes up for the fact that “Something to talk About” is kinda shitty.

G: Well, the Grammys still had some legitimacy in 1991…and hey, I kinda like “Something to Talk About”!

B: I don’t know what it is about that song. I just can’t buy in…and now i have it playing on a loop in my head.  Great.

G: OK, I know for a fact there are a number of ways that this path can go.

B: Oh yeah–this song has been covered, i’d argue, more than any other song recorded/released in the past twenty years.

G: Awwwwwwwwww yeah!

B: The Artist smooths it out. One of the first covers he released commercially.

G: Yes, he hadn’t officially released any covers until Emancipation. 

B: And there he did…3? “Betcha By Golly Wow”, “One of Us”, and this. Was there a fourth?

G: The Delfonics track.

B: Right!

G: I will say that The Stylistics and Delfonics covers on this record are a little schmaltzy, but I really like his take on this.

B: Prince definitely quiet storms it out

G: Ha! Never used QS as a verb. Good work.

It is at root an R&B song.

B: Now, are you ready to take it across the pond?

G: God, we really are eerily alike in our tastes. I know exactly where you’re taking me. Let’s go!

G: Ding ding! I was right.

B: I’m so predictable.

G: Goddamn, George Michael is an extremely underrated vocalist…and songwriter, for that matter.

B: This version makes my heart break into a million pieces every time I hear it.

G: It’s such a delicate lyric – GM’s take on the song really maintains that fragility in lyric and arrangement.

B: He’s quite the skilled interpreter. His voice is pretty adaptable to…well, just about everything.

We could probably do an entire article on the covers George has actually released, and then do another one on bad “Careless Whisper” covers.

G: Sexy sax man!

B: Let’s stay in the UK for a second.

G: Now here’s one that I haven’t heard yet.

I’ll say this – she’s got a great voice, and I think some of her songs are great pop tunes. But God, I’m so sick of Adele.

B: I love this song, and I love Adele, so I downloaded it as soon as I got wind of it.

I dont listen to the radio, so I’m not sick of her yet.

G: That makes sense!

B:Sshe can sing anything and make it sound good, but it sounds like she’s a little off rhythm here.

G: Yes, rushing it a bit.

B: One more to make it an even 5 from my end.

G: Another that I haven’t heard! When was this released?

B: Two years ago? maybe three?

G: Oh shit!

B: So, there’s five for you to chew on.

G: chompchompchomp

B: What are your thoughts, sir?

G: I can’t say that I’m a fan of the more recent versions (Adele and Boyz II Men). The other three are all very strong.

But I think I’m going to default to the Purple One here. Maybe it’s just that the Prince version is the one that I’ve listened to the most over the years. But I really like the way he drenched it in 1990s r&b without (in my opinion) going overboard.

George for the runner up, Bonnie third.

B: I dont think he went overboard…but I think he kinda missed the meaning of the song. He sexed it up a ton…and it’s kind of a sad song.

I think Prince goes in the middle of my pack.

G: I can see that. That said, I have a guess as to your hierarchy.

GM – Bonnie – Prince

B: Damn, yo!! Right on the money!

G: Again, eerily similar. While we’re at it though, I have something else to share, but didn’t want to disrupt the flow.

Zack: CHECK THIS OUT!!

B: ROFL!!!!!

G: Right? It kind of makes me want to slow down all of the Kylie songs!

B: If i could figure out how to do that, i totally would.

G: They should obviously record a duet.

B: I cant possibly fathom that it hasnt been done yet.

By the way,  I could’ve thrown you at least three other covers just off the top of my head. Nancy Wilson, Patti LaBelle and Hornsby himself.

G: Jesus

B: Tank and Will Downing, too, which would have made it an even ten.

G: I think I’ve heard the Hornsby take.

B: We also can’t forget about Bon Iver‘s version…and on THAT note, I’m going to sign off.

G: SHAMON!

B: OWWWW!!

Gonzo Decision: Prince’s sexed up version wins his affections…and probably will provide the soundtrack to an evening of shakin’ n’ bakin’.

Blerd Decision: George Michael’s the king of heartbreak, and his version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is a tearjerker for sure.

Rendering: Poor Bonnie!!! The original artist gets the shaft!

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