Blisterd

Is Phil Collins still one of those guys who should be considered a guilty pleasure? Fuck that.

I’ve been re-thinking the whole “guilty pleasure” thing anyway (you like what you like), but even though Phil’s music was the mainstream-iest of the mainstream during his heyday (roughly 1984-1991), there’s no denying the man’s talent. To be a fantastic singer is one thing. To be a fantastic (and versatile) vocalist, “A” class drummer, solid songwriter and stellar producer? Phil’s got the juice-no way around that one.

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee recently announced a reissue campaign, which will be led off by expanded packages of 1981’s Face Value and 1993’s Both Sides. The former album kicked off Phil’s solo career, and the latter album effectively ended his tenure at the top of the American charts, coming as it did in the wake of grunge and hip-hop’s commercial explosion. So, Phil’s been on my mind lately, and as I’m trying to work my way through a bit of the writing yips, I figured I’d pay tribute by ranking the man’s 21 top 40 hits, from worst to first. I’m not including Genesis hits (because they probably deserve their own list) nor am I including songs that Phil clearly appears on but is not given a performance credit (i.e. Frida’s “I Know There’s Something Going On” and Howard Jones’ “No One Is To Blame”.

One more thing before we get started-most stars on Phil’s level hit the Top 40 with at least one humdinger of a bad song. Think “Heal The World”, or that Madonna song with Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., the Janet song with Nelly, “The Greatest Love Of All” (which hit #1, for crying out loud) or Prince’s “The Arms Of Orion”. The worst material on Phil’s list is fairly mediocre. Props to him for not laying out a stinker during his major run of hits.

21. “Both Sides Of The Story” (#25, 1993)

When “Both Sides Of The Story” was released in the fall of 1993, Phil was facing a much different radio landscape than he’d faced when “Another Day In Paradise,” the lead single from his previous album, …But Seriously, hit stores in 1989. Hell, the radio landscape was markedly different than it’d been earlier that year, when the campaign for the last Genesis album, We Can’t Dance, wrapped up. Phil made some concessions: “Story” sounded tougher than anything he’d put out in years, and it included vaguely exotic-sounding bagpipes. Musical innovation (if we want to call it that) aside, Phil certainly wasn’t saying anything new: “Story” was essentially “Another Day In Paradise” with a fresh coat of paint. Listeners weren’t impressed, and the end result was a song that couldn’t even crack the top 20. I mean, it’s not a bad song, but it was a bit of an indication to fans that Phil didn’t really have anything new to say. It was also kind of heavy-handed and morose, and felt more like a lecture from Dad than something we wanted to nod our heads to as it played on the radio.

20. “Groovy Kind Of Love” (#1, 1988)

For the lead single from Buster, his celluloid vanity project, Phil decided to go with a cover: setting The Mindbenders’ “A Groovy Kind Of Love” in a semi-modern context. That basically meant adding a basic drum machine track and a wall of synthesizers to the song. Phil being Phil, and nostalgia being nostalgia, “Groovy” rocketed to the top of the charts. Nothing about the song sticks to the ribs, though. This is what “pleasant” sounds like.

19. “Something Happened On The Way To Heaven” (#4, 1990)

Awesome video, “meh” song.

18. “Two Hearts” (#1, 1988)

Phil has long professed his reverence for the classic soul era of the ’60s, and working on Buster (which was set in that era) allowed him to create with LaMont Dozier, of the legendary Motown production team Holland-Dozier-Holland. “Two Hearts” is perfectly fine ersatz Motown, but lacks the panache of the original ’60s sides that HDH helmed and Phil adored so much. Buster really was not Phil’s best moment. I wonder if anyone’s actually seen the movie.

17. “Hang In Long Enough” (#23, 1991)

It’s safe to say Phil was a really big fan of Prince’s “1999”. He ripped the damn song off twice (three times if you consider “Who Said I Would”). “Hang In Long Enough” was the fifth single released from …But Seriously, and…let’s just say that the law of diminishing returns was fully in place by this point. The drumming is killer, though.

16. “You’ll Be In My Heart” (#21, 1999)

Before the avalanche of side-eye comes falling on to me,  it’s worth mentioning that “You’ll Be In My Heart” is qualitatively worlds better (it’s certainly less cloying) than any other ’90s Disney theme that I can think of, and “Beauty & The Beast”, “A Whole New World”, “Colors Of The Wind”, “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and “Circle Of Life” all charted higher.

15. “Everyday” (#24, 1994)

Those of us who considered Phil a relatively happy chappy might’ve been thrown for a bit of a loop with Both Sides. Coming as it did in the wake of a divorce, the album’s lyrical content was a bit of a downer. That might be part of the reason it didn’t resonate with listeners the way No Jacket Required or …But Seriously (which, title aside, had a fair amount of lightness) did.

“Everyday” was perhaps the album’s most immediate pop single. A review I read around the time of the album’s release said as much (pointing out the track’s lengthy intro, which almost serves as advance notice that “here’s the hit, you guys!!”) It charted higher than “Both Sides Of The Story”, sure, and was inescapable on adult contemporary radio for a few months, but didn’t do much to reverse the fortunes of the Both Sides album, which had already descended the charts.

It’s a pretty song. But geez, is it sad.

14. “Another Day In Paradise” (#1, 1989)

“Paradise” was Phil’s biggest hit, spending a month at the top of the charts as the ’80s melted into the ’90s. Lyrically, it was very much in line with the “socially conscious” wave that’d hit pop music around that time (Tracy Chapman, Janet Jackson, George Michael and U2 were among the more ubiquitous examples of artists who strove to bring awareness of political issues to the radio.) Was it kind of heavy-handed? Sure. But it seemed like Phil’s heart was in the right place, the song was tuneful enough, and the harmony vocals from David Crosby were sublime. Did it deserve to win a Record of the Year Grammy? Not in the same year that brought us Sinead O’ Connor’s astounding rendering of “Nothing Compares 2 U” or Madonna’s irresistible “Vogue” or Mariah’s “Vision Of Love”. But it’s not a bad song at all.

Check out this lo-fi Grammy performance from Collins and Crosby. And a version of this song performed by Brandy and Ray J.

13. “Separate Lives” (Phil Collins with Marilyn Martin) (#1, 1985)

There was a point in time when Phil Collins was giving Kenny Loggins a run for his money as the King Of The Soundtracks. This heartbreak ballad came from the Baryshnikov/Gregory Hines flick White Nights, which also brought us Lionel Richie’s hackathon “Say You, Say Me”. Phil’s at his wounded best here, and “Separate Lives” ranks among the best (and most underrated) sappy duets of the ’80s.

12. “You Can’t Hurry Love” (#10, 1983)

Phil’s first top 10 hit in the States (and the first song I remember hearing of his) was this Supremes cover. It’s a beautifully rendered remake (although, let’s face it, the original is leagues better), and the video’s appropriately goofy and endearing in that “aw shucks” way that Phil perfected in the ’80s. The fact that “Hurry” ranks relatively low in the pantheon of Phil hits speaks volumes about what a hit machine the guy was. The fact that “Hurry” couldn’t get past #10 speaks volumes about the pure glut of great music that the last months of 1982 and the first months of 1983 spit out (1999, Thriller, “Sexual Healing”, H2O, Culture Club’s debut, Joe Jackson’s Night And Day, “Africa”, Duran Duran’s Rio, “Rock The Casbah”,…holy crap!)

11. “I Missed Again” (#19, 1981)

Phil’s first solo single didn’t give much of an indication that “hey, here’s the guy that’s gonna rule the charts for the next ten years.” Upbeat and horn-spiked, it was the song that sounded most like the handful of tracks Genesis had been able to place onto American radio at this point (“Misunderstanding”, “No Reply At All”). It’s charming, though. And the video’s a fucking goof. Bonus points for delicious falsetto.

10. “Do You Remember” (#4, 1990)

I wonder what it was that brought David Crosby and Phil Collins together. I’m imagining them sitting together in a living room. Phil is wearing a captain’s hat and playing with a large train set while Crosby shovels gigantic spoons full of cocaine up his nose. Occasionally, Phil has to plunge Crosby into a cold bath to revive him, then goes back to playing trains. Then they go into a backyard studio and record pretty songs like “Do You Remember”, a mournful meditation on relationships that crested the top 5 in the spring of 1990.

Crosby and Collins would go on to record “Hero” in 1993. This song came within a hair of the top 40 (peaking at #44), and might actually rank above “Do You Remember” if it’d made it up those couple measly spots.

9. “Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)” (#1, 1984)

Videos were still a fairly primitive art form in 1984, hence the “Against All Odds” cover.

Emotions were not a primitive art form in 1984 and they aren’t now; hence the ability of “Against All Odds” to bring a tear to my eye then and now.

“More skillful” does not equal “better”, as evidenced by Mariah Carey (who is clearly a better technical vocalist) ruining “Against All Odds” in the late ’90s.

8. “Take Me Home” (#7, 1986)

“Take Me Home” was the fourth and final single released from No Jacket Required, and stretched the album’s run of chart singles into a second year. It’s apparently about a guy living in a mental institution, which I guess makes sense if you listen to the lyrics. It features some truly inventive drum programming and some great background vocals by a sea of stars, including Culture Club vocalist Helen Terry and Phil’s former bandmate Peter Gabriel.

DO listen to JoJo’s excellent cover version from last year. DO NOT listen to Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony’s lazy rendering of the same song, which Phil lent his vocals to (and later, added his craggy visage to the video).

7. “Don’t Lose My Number” (#4, 1985)

Remember the ’80s? Back then, you could release a song with a storyline that made absolutely no sense, turn it into a hit, and no one would care that they couldn’t figure out what the song was about because it was so good! I miss those days. Phil himself has stated that he doesn’t really know what “Don’t Lose My Number” is about, and he wrote the motherfucker!

Hands down one of the best (and funniest) videos of the ’80s. And Phil was such a chart factory that this got left off his greatest hits album from the late ’90s. How did this happen?

6. “I Wish It Would Rain Down” (#3, 1990)

Anyone with the slightest doubt that Phil cut his teeth on a steady diet on soul music need only listen to the last 1/3 of “I Wish It Would Rain Down”. Phil goes off. He’s assisted by an equally unhinged Eric Clapton guitar solo. OK, well it’s really not unhinged…it’s just more emotional-sounding than Slowhand was able to muster regularly at this point in his career.

Plus, Jeffrey Tambor is in the video. Has someone given Phil a video vanguard award yet? He deserves one.

5. “One More Night” (#1, 1985)

“One More Night” was the song that effectively turned Phil Collins into “PHIL COLLINS”. It hit #1 in the States, his second single to do so, and also crept into the upper reaches of the R&B charts. It’s the smoochiest of his slow jams-filled with the tension and longing that comes with a first love. It’s also the most understated of his hit ballads. And in a year of great sax solos, “One More Night”‘s outro comes within a hair’s breadth of “Careless Whisper” for 1985’s title.

I almost had this entire top 5 flipped backwards, which is a testament to the quality of Phil’s biggest hits as well as my own indecision. So, in an alternate universe, “One More Night” was my #1. It might be again, depending on what mood I’m in and when you ask me.

4. “I Don’t Care Anymore” (#39, 1983)

Songs like “I Don’t Care Anymore” don’t jibe very well with the “Nice Guy of Rock” image Phil perpetuated during his No Jacket/Seriously heyday. That’s kind of what makes Phil awesome, though. People read that Rolling Stone interview from a year or two ago and were like “man, that guy’s kinda troubled”. Have you been listening to his songs, people?

3. “Easy Lover” (Philip Bailey featuring Phil Collins) (#2, 1985)

Phil and Phil initially crossed paths when Mr. Collins enlisted Earth, Wind & Fire’s horn section to play on his solo debut, Face Value. Three years later, while Collins’ star was ascending and Bailey was taking a temporary break from EW&F, the pair joined forces. The end result was Bailey’s second solo album, Chinese Wall. Collins produced the album, and it’s an interesting fusion of rock and soul. Bailey uses his lower register more than I’d ever heard it used before or since (check out “Photogenic Memory” for a taste of that goodness) and Collins employs some tricks that would take flight less than a year later on No Jacket Required.

“Easy Lover” finds a near-perfect balance between arena rock and dance-floor groove. The Phils’ blend well together, and the end result was Bailey’s biggest hit (and Collins’ biggest R&B hit); a Grammy-nominated, VMA-winning smash.

Oh yeah, that video. Highbrow concept (a video about the making of a video) meets goofball execution, with Bailey playing the straight man. Great stuff. So ’80s.

2. “Sussudio” (#1, 1985)

What the hell is a Sussudio? Who would name someone Sussudio? (I’m betting that there are some women in the 30 age range who have been saddled with this unfortunate name.) Who cares? Hell, the title of Phil’s most irresistible smash hit may have quite a bit to do with why it’s so recognizable three decades after topping the charts.

1. “In The Air Tonight” (#19, 1981)

Everything that makes Phil Collins great is evident on “In The Air Tonight”, just the second single he released as a solo artist. The mildly creepy vibe (a holdover from those Genesis songs), willfully obtuse lyrics (which he abandoned fairly quickly once the dough started rolling in), and that huge drum kick 2/3 into the song. Hell, those gigantic gated drums would become a hallmark of not only Phil’s music, but just about any pop/rock song that charted from 1985-1990.

Despite barely cracking the top 20, “In The Air Tonight” has gone on to become arguably Phil’s best known song. It’s been title-checked by Eminem, memorably used in “Miami Vice” (leading to a second run as a hit in 1984-85), and even become a favorite among Chicago steppers of a certain age (in a slightly remixed version). Phil himself has reprised his vocals from the song on rap hits by Queen Pen and Lil’ Kim. An artist’s best-known hit isn’t necessarily always his best hit, but in Phil’s case, it all works out. The worst you can say about the guy is that he peaked early!