Who wants to be worried about problems all of the time? I’ve had my share of miserable days. Haven’t you? Sometimes I want to live where dreams and reality are one in the same. Exactly how do I accomplish that?

Remember when you had an addiction for life and lived every day like it was your birthday? No? Well me neither but don’t you think it’s time that you start? Fix your sour puss face and do something. I think I’ll start by going out more often. I have some nice clothes in my closet that I haven’t worn in a minute. I hope they still fit. There is nothing like thinking you look good in a tight shirt made for a 16 year old; at least not for men. Women you go right ahead.

So let us begin with the preparation. Let’s talk about grooming of the hair. I’m not trying to change you here. Fellas, if you need a shape up, go get one. It’s only like $5. Ladies, I know it’s a bit more intricate for you but let’s not over do it here. Just make sure however you style it; it doesn’t outshine your personality. I’m putting that in a nice way.

So, take out something that makes you noticeable. This may take some time. You need to grab some clothes and lay them across the bed. Put together a nice ensemble because tonight you’re going to turn heads with a matching attitude that goes along very well with it. Make sure there are no holes or wrinkles in your garments. We don’t want to be worried about anything other than having a great time.

I don’t know how much of slump you are in but hit the showers for extra minutes if you have to. I’m a shower singer so I’d be in there for at least half an album myself. Or better yet, if you are in that kind of mood, grab a bottle of champagne and soak in the tub for a minute. Get a taste of how you want your night to start off; relax, chill mode. Ok. Know your time limit. It takes a little bit of time for those wrinkles to get out of your skin after soaking for too long.

It’s time to get dressed. Please use a full length mirror. You need to see yourself from the crown of your head to the souls of your shoes. Your entire outfit needs to be perfect. Your accessories need to match your wardrobe perfectly and your shoe game must be on point. Once you feel excited about the way you look, have a toast. There is nothing wrong with a little celebration before the big celebration. Whether you are going out alone or not, someone will notice a flaw so get it right on your own. By the way, if you have a date, he or she must look the part as well. Give hints to your date about the tone you want to set for the night. That way both of you will be on the same page and turn heads at the same time.

Now, it’s important to wear the perfect perfume or cologne that goes great with your skin. Everything that smells good in a bottle doesn’t necessarily smell the best when put on your flesh. Be very careful with this. This may very well ruin your night. If you are a bit concerned about this, wear something like a lightly scented powder and/or lotion. There is nothing wrong with smelling baby fresh; even if you’re a 280-pounder named Tiny. By the end of the night, you could become some women’s big ‘ole teddy bear. It may not be the preferred scent but it’s memorable. (By the way, if yo big ass and I did say “yo” is named Tiny, that’s not cute dude. Tonight you need to use your birth given name unless it’s something like Cleofis. Then I can understand and trust me, so will she.)

Ready to go? Wait a second. I forgot one thing. I, myself, drive a nice car so I don’t want to offend anyone that doesn’t. In 2012, car manufacturers don’t even make ugly cars anymore; do they? Even the cheaper brands now have luxury features in them. With that said, you may not drive a new ride but do not pull up in anything busted. If worst comes to worst, call for car service. They usually have nice Lincoln Town cars available for you to be chauffeured in. That will do.

Now, go off into the night and celebrate. Celebrate how you look, celebrate who you are with, celebrate the air you are blessed to breathe. Celebrate your rebirth living a champagne life.

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