Metallica pose at the Metallica Family Reunion with their grandfather.

(As if to ensure that no one would ever want to download their music illegally again, Metallica have teamed up with Lou Reed to craft an album that, judging by every measure of common sense, will function as an unofficial sequel to the Velvet Underground frontman’s Metal Machine Music in both themes and listenability. The Popblerd staff gave a listen to first official track “The View”; unable to saddle any one individual with the burden of listening enough times to write a paragraph, we’ve decided to pool our collective resources, and post the results for you here.)

Nick says: It is pretty bad. St. Anger is palatable by comparison. This sounds like a throwaway Metallica track that they goofed around with at a rehearsal session and then added Lou Reed’s vocals which you can imagine is not a good combination. The only time it sounds passable is when Hetfield sings a bit.

Jay says, Part 1: Yeah, just listened to it. Pretty off-putting, and not in a good way.

“Metal Monday” Jesse says: Yeah, listened to it last night. God awful.

(more thoughts, and the song, after the jump…)

Drew says, Part 1: Yeah, it was definitely misguided on the parts of, well, all involved. A head-scratcher, to be sure. [This turned out to be a comment about Mick Jagger supergroup SuperHeavy. We decided it still counts.]

Jay says, Part 2: “The View” is a Frankenstein monster of a song, in that it sounds like Lou Reed’s head was grafted onto Metallica’s body. It’s scared of fire and it keeps bumping into shit.

Tom says: Lou Reed did a song ‘in the style of’ with the Killers that was weird.  After single and album projects is his next logical step a god-awful tour with the now job-less members of R.E.M.?

Drew says, Part 2: Lou Reed and Metallica’s “The View” sounds like Jerry Cantrell reciting beat poetry over recycled sludge-rock riffs. In terms of ill-conceived musical collaborations, I’d like to issue this retraction: I’m sorry, SuperHeavy, I spoke too soon. [Once again, Drew references different but equally-awful supergroup SuperHeavy. All is explained here.]

Stephen says: Like the ABC talk show of the same name, “The View” is painful, unnecessary, contrived, poorly thought out, and features a completely out of place old person. However, unlike the TV show, you only have to suffer for five minutes at a time.

Well, there you have it, folks. Listen to the track below if you are a fan of Lou Reed, Metallica, or medieval torture rituals. In the comments section, tell us what you think about Loutallica’s “The View”; if your comment is hilarious enough, we may just include it alongside ours! Think about it: published on Popblerd. Tell your resume it’s welcome.

The View by Lou Reed & Metallica

Be Sociable, Share!