We’ve returned to celebrate more shitty music.
Posts tagged "Jukebox From Hell"
The Jukebox From Hell 14: “Crazy B*tch”
As we at Popblerd passed around the latest list of new releases to divvy up albums for review, one particular album stood out like a sore thumb: Buckcherry, the band you’d always hoped was dead, is gearing up to release a new record. This is a moderately startling development, precisely because it’s not that startling: as we all know, rare is the past-its-prime band that has the self-awareness and decency to call it a day when they cease to be […]
“Santa Baby”: The Jukebox From Hell 13
“Santa Baby” has become a standard over the years. Doesn’t mean it isn’t a shitty song, though.
The Jukebox From Hell 11: “Rockstar”
Yeah, it’s easy to hate on Nickelback. But you’ve never read an ass-whipping as eloquent as the one Drew gives the Canuck schmucks’ “Rockstar.”
The Jukebox From Hell 9: “Butterfly Kisses”
Does it speak highly of my upbringing that I hesitate before speaking ill of Contemporary Christian music? Despite my current lack of interest in organized religion, the fact that I was born and raised in a reasonably devout Catholic household still informs much of what I do. But I gotta say it: most CCM music sucks. It’s like the worst adult contemporary music with all the soul sucked out of it. Any good music (whether spiritual or secular) should cause […]
The Jukebox From Hell 08: “Christmas Shoes”
This Jukebox From Hell installment is a special one, dear friends. Even as I write this, a Christmas tree glows proudly in my window; stockings for Drew, wife, and pets line the bookcase; in preparation for the holiday at hand, rolls of wrapping paper are stacked in the corner like the most festive teepee framework ever assembled. The brisk air is scented with the pine-scented Yankee Candle to my right; it’s almost depleted, but fear not, for we have backups. […]
The Jukebox From Hell 07: “If I Were A Boy”
If you and I are friends – and if we’re not, we probably should be – you’re undoubtedly scratching your head right now, wondering why I’m about to lay into Beyonce. After all, I’ve been a vocal and unabashed fan of Lady B even before she went solo; I’ve got love for Miss Knowles (Mrs. Z?), and I don’t care who knows. She’s one of the finest pop stars of our time, a classy performer with an ear for a […]
The Jukebox From Hell 6: “Because I Love You (The Postman Song)”
If Stevie B. really loved us, he would never have recorded this song, which parked itself at #1 for four weeks as 1990 bled into 1991, and became the #1 song of the year. Yes, folks. In a year that brought us “Nothing Compares 2 U”, “Vision of Love”, hell, even “Ice Ice Baby” and “Step by Step”, the biggest dog of them all was a treacly ballad made by a guy who had trouble staying in tune. When we […]
The Jukebox From Hell 05: “Follow Me”
It’s important, when postulating about songs that may deserve placement on the Jukebox From Hell, to generally avoid easy targets. Let’s take my personal favorite whipping boys, Nickelback, for example: everybody knows that Nickelback is a blight on the musical landscape, the product of a horrid curse that a gypsy woman placed on rock n’ roll years ago, that their lead singer is an insufferable tool, and that encountering one of their songs on the radio is something akin to […]
The Jukebox From Hell 04: “Say Hey (I Love You)”
Michael Franti has a long and storied history as a musician. First as a founding member of The Beatnigs, and then somewhat famously, as half of The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy. Despite never selling many records, Franti and partner Rono Tse got tons of press in the alternative world, as well as some love on the hip-hop side and a few looks from mainstream pubs who considered themselves “counterculture” at the time (like Details). The work Franti did back then […]
The Jukebox From Hell 03: “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”
Some combinations just plain work. Chocolate and peanut butter Porkchops and applesauce Macaroni and cheese Brad and Angelina However…just because a certain formula seems to work for most, it does not necessarily mean that it will appeal to all. Not everyone likes Reeses Cups. Some people are lactose intolerant, some allergic to apples. Some people even prefer Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie. Great commercial success has been realized by the duo of Jim Steinman and Michael Lee Aday, a.k.a. “Meatloaf”. The two paired up […]
The Jukebox From Hell 02: “Before He Cheats”
The relationship of our society to discrimination and oppression is, indeed, one of our nation’s most shameful characteristics; the rich white straight male archetype has kept a firm boot on the chest of every race, sex, and creed known to man ever since our inception. Clearly, this doesn’t work – not just because it’s morally reprehensible, but because it can, in some particularly severe instances, lead to awful songs. Let’s backpedal. No one’s disputing that men constantly demeaning women in […]