Last year, I joined Popdose‘s Jeff Giles and Robert Cass for a column called “‘Face Time,” in which we discussed essential (and some non-essential) cuts in the catalog of Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, one of the most prolific singer/songwriters of the ’80s and ’90s. ‘Face and his partner Antonio “L.A.” Reid were one of the big 3 production teams that ruled pop and R&B during that era. There was also Teddy Riley and his New Jack Swing camp, and perhaps most notably, Minneapolis’s James “Jimmy Jam” Harris III and Terry Lewis. The former members of Prince offshoot band The Time turned out to be legends in their own right, composing and producing hits for a who’s-who of the music industry and proving to be as (if not more) influential than their purple-clad benefactor.
So in 2014, Jeff, Robert and I (along two new team members, fellow Popdose editor/Popblerd podcast co-host Michael Parr, along with badass co-conspirator Dr. Z) are back to talk all things Flyte Tyme.
Pia Zadora | “Dance Out Of My Head” (1988) | #65 UK (produced by Jam & Lewis)
MJ: Since we only have a few weeks left in the year, I have a proposal.
I’ve been greedy, and would like each of you to pick a J&L track we haven’t covered yet, and we’ll do those in order-they’ll be our last four installments.
Jeff Giles: I feel like this song needs to be part of the conversation.
Dr. Z: The one-piece spandex outfit is an interesting choice. I imagine it’s a hassle when she has to go Pia.
MJ: Not sure how I managed to successfully avoid this song until today.
That video is trippy as hell, although I’m not gonna lie: I like the song. My like of the song has everything to do with the production and nothing to do with Pia Zadora, though. In case you were wondering.
Robert Cass: Have you won a fucking Golden Globe, Michael J.? HAVE YOU?!
JG: What year was that song released? It’s clear from the video that Pia was trying to make the most of her association with Jam & Lewis.
RC: Google says 1988.
JG: And yet based on the visuals, I would have guessed 1986…which also seems about right for her.
RC: When the Lights Go Out was the follow-up to 1986’s I Am What I Am and appears to be her first album not to receive a stateside release. I like this write-up on Wikipedia:
The set was produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis in 1987 and was intended to be released in the United States on Epic Records, but those plans were scrapped and was instead released in Europe through CBS Records, where it failed to chart in that region despite a good review from Allmusic.
Whoever wrote that is apparently too naive to understand that All Music Guide greatly exaggerates its influence when it’s drunk.
MJ: …or that All Music Guide’s review probably came ten years (if not twenty) after the album was originally released.
JG: From a production standpoint, this isn’t bad, but it’s clear that Jam & Lewis weren’t saving their best for Pia. I chose this song mainly because A) I think it’s mildly hilarious that they produced for her, and B) I think too many people have forgotten about the long train wreck of her career.
Z: It’s an alright song. Pretty non-descript from the vocal/lyrical stance. But the production suits it. I do agree that it sounds more along the lines of that 1986 pop/club vibe than anything distinctly 1988.
MJ: The groove is tight, but yeah…seems like a borderline phone-in job. Who would be the modern-day equivalent to Pia Zadora? Paris Hilton, maybe?
JG: Paris Hilton would be a rough equivalent. But if I remember right, Pia fueled her showbiz aspirations with big bucks from a sugar daddy husband instead of her parents. A fine distinction, perhaps.
RC: Well, unlike Hilton, Zadora apparently has a musical-theater background. Here are some pieces of trivia from her IMDb page that I haven’t yet fact-checked:
In 1961, the six-year-old was selected by noted screen and stage actor Burgess Meredith to appear in the Broadway production of “Midgie Purvis” starring the one and only Tallulah Bankhead.
Played youngest daughter Bielke for two years in “Fiddler on the Roof” on Broadway (1964-1966).
Father, Alphonse Schipani, played violin in Broadway pit orchestras, and mother, Saturnina Zadorowski, was a theater wardrobe supervisor.
JG: So Pia peaked at six is what you’re telling us?
Z: I would love to see her sharing the stage with Burgess “The Penguin” Meredith. Moreover, she was apparently one of the kids in that Holiday favorite, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
JG: I’m willing to bet she has a small-to-medium-sized group of weirdly passionate fans. You’ve got your finger on the pulse of the gay community, MJ — wouldn’t Pia be like a poor man’s Liza or Madonna if you squint hard enough?
MJ: Oh…trust me, I don’t have my finger anywhere near the pulse of the gay community.
JG: You disappoint me. Can you call the hotline?
MJ: I’m not fabulous enough for the hotline. They disconnected me and changed the number.
JG: In my quest for the truth, I just visited Out.com and sat through an ad for some show called Looking in order to get Pia’s thoughts on whether she feels she’s a gay icon:
“I do. I feel there’s a connection there. I think it’s because of my image of a diva. I sing ‘The Man That Got Away’ and ‘I Am What I Am.’ They’re wonderful audiences, and I feel at home in their presence. I hope it’s mutual.”
MJ: (throws up)
RC: Here’s another “fun” fact from Zadora’s IMDb page, one that incorporates a liberal interpretation of the adjective “worldwide”:
She earned a Grammy nomination in 1984 with “Rock It Out” (for Female Rock performance) and also scored a worldwide hit with “When the Rain Begins to Fall”, a duet with Jermaine Jackson. It was not a hit in the U.S., however.
(cue sound of record scratching)
JG: Wait, wait, wait. Grammy nomination?
MJ: Yep…just checked. She was up against Lita Ford, Wendy O. Williams, Bonnie Tyler & Tina Turner.
JG: You can’t see me, but I’m squinting at the screen and shaking my head.
Robert Hilburn called “Rock It Out” “more effective” than the stuff Wendy O. and Lita were nominated for that year. Women in rock have come a long way.
…several days after we wrap this conversation, Jeff decides to open a suspicious-looking e-mail.
Coming to you with an exclusive video premiere opportunity from Kady Z – daughter of Pia Zadora who released an acoustic album on 9/23 titled,Ordinary Girl Undone. RIYL Gwen Stefani and Robyn we premiered the audio for “Ordinary Girl” with PopCrush and would love to offer Popdose the exclusive video premiere.
Michael Parr: Not to be all “big brother / conspiracy theorist,” but what the hell are the chances that you randomly got this?
MJ: I don’t even want to think about that.
MP: So if Pia is Paris, what the hell is Kady Z?
MJ: I don’t want to think about that, either.
MP: I swear, I tried to listen all the way through, but when she went into that breathy-psuedo-fallsetto at 1:45 I threw my laptop at the wall.
RC: You hear that, Kady Z? You’ve forced this man to use a DESKTOP again (shudder)!
All: YOUNT!