Mrs. Jesse and I went into 2007’s Live Free Or Die Hard with absolutely no expectations and walked out with a new favorite Die Hard movie. That said, our expectations were pretty high when A Good Day To Die Hard was announced late last year. If we were to rate our DH faves it would probably go something like 1, 4, 3, 2 for me while hers runs something like 2, 4, 1, 3 (She tends to go with sequels first. I don’t get it either.).
But I digress.
This was to be the greatest of all DH movies. It had to be, right? John McClane and son together fighting Russians! It doesn’t get more kick ass or more ’80’s than that, does it?
What follows is a transcription loosely based on the conversations that followed the conclusion of the fifth Die Hard “film”:
Mrs. Jesse: Well, the “Spartacus” guy was cute.
Jesse: He’s not “Spartacus” (takes out my phone and checks). See? (This conversation actually took something like 20 minutes but for the sake of your sanity, I’ve condensed it)
And that sums up the movie. No, really. It was a Bruce Willis movie that should’ve gone straight to DVD not one that should stand next to Die Hard. The directing was choppy. The development between all of the characters was non-existent and as far as DH movies goes, it was ridiculously short. I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE (Instead I implore you to watch the Key & Peele sketch below).
Grade: F