Jheri Curl Special: Ranking Every #1 R&B Hit Of The ’80s From Worst To First (120-111)

Without further ado…let’s not wait awhile (or, awhile…damn grammar)!

120. “Let’s Wait Awhile” by Janet Jackson (1 week at #1, March ’87 | Amazon)

Sure, Control introduced the world to a sassy, saucy version of Janet. But on “Let’s Wait Awhile,” the album’s fifth single (and fourth R&B #1,) the old Jackson innocence was in full effect. JJ is at her girlish best here, delivering a message about patience (not abstinence…after all, she says they’re gonna do it, just NOT RIGHT NOW) in a way that felt relatable to her young fans. Lest we forget, Janet was still in her teens when this song was recorded. That said, as a divorcee, she had more than enough life experience to deliver this song honestly and beautifully.

“I promise-I’ll be worth the wait.” Kills me EVERY time.

…also, did Taimak completely fall off the face of the Earth after this video?

119. “Dial My Heart” by The Boys (1 week at #1, December ’88 | Amazon)

I gotta cross my fingers and pray you’ll know/to Dial my heart

THAT’s what the hell The Boys are saying at the end of each chorus. For twenty-five years, I’ve been mumbling this part. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. Thank you, internet.

The Boys were part of a late ’80s Motown renaissance that also included Today (to be found later on this list) and The Good Girls. None of the three groups made as significant an impact as Motown legends of yesteryear (for various reasons, including the state of music in the ’60s vs. the state of music in the early ’90s and, also, no Berry Gordy,) but The Boys were the most consistently successful of the bunch. “Dial My Heart” was cutesy, but not so cute that it scared away older listeners. Then again, what the hell do I know? I was 12 when it was a hit…right in the pocket of their target audience.

However, I’m now 38, and I still enjoy the song. So…what does that mean, exactly?

No group in their right mind would name themselves The Boys today. Searching for them on the internet would be a bear and a half. Oh, innocence.

118. “Endless Love” by Diana Ross & Lionel Richie (7 weeks at #1, August-October ’81 | Amazon)

Lots of firsts and lasts here: “Endless Love” was the first movie to feature Tom Cruise in a prominent role. “Endless Love” was Lionel Richie’s first solo single, and “Endless Love” was also the last Top 40 hit for Diana Ross as a Motown artist. When the song was released, she’d actually already left the label. It’s not hard to see Berry Gordy asking for a little extra promo push on “Endless Love” as a means of “show her what she’ll be missing at that other label,” but, truthfully, Lionel and Diana were both so hot at this point that anything with both their names on it was destined to shoot straight to the top.

I admittedly have a soft spot for wimpy ballads, but not such a soft spot to be unaware how many of them suck. “Endless Love” is a perfect match of vocalists, and should’ve served as a template for future superstar duets, which often turn into shout-rests. Not that Lionel or Diana is known for over-singing, anyway. But…yeah. Simple, well-sung, good stuff.

117. “Skeletons” by Stevie Wonder (2 weeks at #1, November/December ’87 | Amazon)

It took a lecture from an older relative before I realized that the skeletons Stevie was singing about were not of the Halloween variety.

“Skeletons” is a deeply funky groove that warns of the consequences of lying to yourself and to others. The message might have hit a little too close to home for some, as it was the first lead single from a new Stevie album to not hit the pop Top 10 in a decade and a half. Maybe it was just jammin’ a little too hard for pop radio.

Little tiny delight: the way Stevie sings the word “ill” towards the end of the song. He puts 30 letters of stank on a 3-letter word. Go, Stevie.

Second little tiny delight: Stevie singing the word “squeal” barely ten seconds later.

And hey!: The Boys are in this video, too!

116. “Take My Heart (You Can Have It If You Want It)” by Kool & The Gang (1 week at #1, November ’81 | Amazon)

Kool & The Gang’s James “J.T.” Taylor was a smooth vocalist straight out of the Marvin Gaye Academy, and “Take My Heart” finds the singer acknowledging his debt to the Motown legend. Swooping into some falsetto “woo hoo”s at the end of the song, he mumbles “like Marvin, huh?” Not quite, but close.

I don’t fault Kool & The Gang for hiring J.T. and finding a way to not only survive, but thrive, throughout the ’80s. Sure, they had some regrettable songs (particularly towards the end of their run) but they had a greatest hits compilation’s worth of solid jams, with “Take My Heart” coming close to the top of the pack when it comes to ballads.

115. “Nite & Day” by Al B. Sure! (3 weeks at #1, April/May ’88 | Amazon)

Mr. Sure! had a pair of serious benefactors in Andre Harrell and Quincy Jones. One was on the way up, leading the new jack swing movement, and the other was the Godfather of popular music. Together, they took a marginally talented vocalist with a unibrow and a dumb-ass name and made him a superstar/sex symbol. Al’s In Effect Mode album still holds its own as one of the best albums of the new jack era, even though it contains an abysmal cover of Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly.” That misstep aside, every other track is a winner. And if you loved “Nite & Day,” (which you should, it’s a great song,) there are two better ballads on the album (“Naturally Mine” and “Ooh This Love Is So”) that didn’t even get released as singles.

114. “Head To Toe” by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam (2 weeks at #1, May/June ’87 | Amazon)

The pop success of Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam’s first album led writing/production team Full Force to smooth out some of the dance trio’s rougher edges for album #2. Spanish Fly did just that, spawning a pair of #1s in “Lost In Emotion” and “Head To Toe,” which was ubiquitous in the early part of summer 1987. While there was a ton of attitude in Lisa’s vocals on songs like “I Wonder If I Take You Home” and even “All Cried Out,” “Head To Toe” found her in a more agreeable, chirpy mode. It was very neo-Motown/Mary Wells, and Full Force managed some cute turns of phrase on this song, too.

Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam performed “Head To Toe” on the 1988 American Music Awards, and if you were a teenage boy checking out this performance…well, let’s just say you weren’t paying attention to Lisa’s vocal stylings.

113. “Hanging On A String (Contemplating)” by Loose Ends (1 week at #1, May ’85 | Amazon)

If you were British and making soul music, it was rough going in the ’80s. Billy Ocean, Sade, Soul II Soul, and this trio were the only UK acts to make any real noise on the R&B charts (with the exception of pop crossovers like George Michael.) The two guys and a girl (the awesome Jane Eugene) that made up Loose Ends specialized in an exotic, laid-back sound that was kind of like Surface with balls. Some credit for that winning sound should go to producer/remixer Nick Martinelli, who would go on to score hits with Phyllis Hyman and Stephanie Mills, to name a few. “Hanging” took a year or so to cross shores and become a U.S. hit. It’s certainly danceable, but isn’t the least bit frenetic. That’s a combination that’s hard to pull off well.

112. “Paradise” by Sade (1 week at #1, July ’88 | Amazon)

Speak of the devil!

Amazingly, “Paradise” is Sade’s only #1. Nope, “Smooth Operator” didn’t hit the top. Nor did “The Sweetest Taboo.” Although those songs are more well-known, “Paradise” came from what I consider to be the band’s best album, 1988’s Stronger Than Pride. Paul Denman, Sade’s bassist, did his thing all over this album. Inspired by reggae to an extent, it’s their most groove-heavy work. It’s as moody as everything else Sade ever released, but with a little bit of a kick. They must have been off the pot during the recording of this album. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of Sade’s subsequent work. Or pot, for that matter.

111. “Tasty Love” by Freddie Jackson (4 weeks at #1, November/December ’86 | Amazon)

Proof that the pop charts were on some bullshit in the ’80s: Freddie Jackson’s sophomore effort, Just Like The First Time, spent 26 (TWENTY-SIX) weeks at the #1 spot on the R&B Albums Chart. On the Pop Top 200, it didn’t even crack the Top 20. THAT, folks, is why we needed Soundscan. Too many R&B and rap artists of the decade (to say nothing of decades past,) didn’t get their just due because Billboard’s chart accounting (and radio playlists) were fucking racist.

At any rate, “Tasty Love” was the first, uh, taste of Freddie’s highly-anticipated sophomore effort, and it surprised no one when it raced to the top of the charts. Freddie’s album title was truth in advertising personified, as he stayed close to the template that made his debut such a success. “Tasty” might be his best vocal performance, however, and it thankfully came at a point before his style got stale.

Little tiny delight: Freddie singing “what an AWESOME lover!” during the second verse. Drama!!!