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If you are reading this column and have no idea who Aretha Franklin is, my deepest sympathies.

The Queen of Soul has been a force in the music world for well over five decades, and even at the ripe age of 72, shows no signs of slowing down.

For her new album, Aretha Franklin Sings The Great Diva Classics, Aretha (and legendary diva-lover Clive Davis) have gathered up a series of popular songs for the QOS to put her own personal stamp on. The first single is a version of Adele’s Grammy-winning #1 smash “Rolling In The Deep,” a song that owes more than a little debt to Aretha in her heyday.

My hopes weren’t high going in, and the result is worse than even I feared.

First of all-who Auto-tunes the Queen of Soul’s vocals? One of, if not the, greatest vocalist in American music history has to work with voice manipulating technology? Are you fucking MAD?

Second-who threw in the anony-diva choir to sing a few bars of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to end the song?

Third- Remember when Aretha simply sang and could inhabit a song with raw feeling and emotion? Now, it seems like she’s succumbed to the same annoying level of vocal show-offery that her descendants so often get criticized for.

This song is a fucking trainwreck-plain and simple. It’s not like Aretha can’t cover other peoples’ tunes-after all, her list of hits is dotted with memorable covers ranging from “Bridge Over Troubled Water” to “Eleanor Rigby.” Hell, even “Respect” is a cover! It’s also not like “Rolling In The Deep” isn’t a cover-able song. You might remember John Legend’s stellar version of it. Aretha’s cover just smacks of laziness…and opportunism. And with the album track listing containing either songs that have been covered to death (“At Last”) or should never be covered by ANYONE (Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor,”) I wouldn’t hold out hope for the rest of the album.

Oh, Aretha’s diva covers album comes out October 21st, in case you were wondering. I will be staying away. Far, far away.