Just when you thought Nelly had retired to a life of reality shows and getting busted for having heroin on his tour bus, he’s returned. The veteran rapper is getting set to release his sixth album later this spring, and the set’s first single, “Hey Porsche,” has become an unexpected hit. We passed the video around the Popblerd offices, and this is what the staff members had to say.

Big Money: I am going to spoil everyone’s day by asking you to look at the new Nelly video.

Michael Parr: Nope. Not gonna do it.


Michael Parr: Nope. Nuh-uh.

Mike Schiller: Man, I used to kind of like this guy. This is like the cutting room floor of a One Direction album.

Ken: It’s awful. I don’t want a Porsche anymore. Thanks Nelly for ruining my childhood dream of owning a fine piece of German machinery.

Collin: That’s like Rebecca Black levels of bad. Nelly has always had strong pop influences but they just took over here. I’m just surprised he’s still around. COUNTRY GRAMMAR

GG:  I wonder if they were smart enough to blur out the zits on his back from the  (ed. note: Alleged roids. Don’t sue me!) roids.

 I actually thought his “Just A Dream” or whatever the hell that song was called was okay. But maybe it’s because someone on the X Factor flipped it and made it better.
KJ: OK … I’m pretty easy-going on this mainstream stuff, dug “Just a Dream” and the Country Grammar stuff but this is crap! What’s with the “Na-na-na Hey Porsche!”
May: Holy shit that was awful!  Oh well, I’ve never liked Porches anyway.  I’m a Maserati guy.  My childhood dreams are still intact.   Sorry.
Drew: Okay, this song’s bad, but I’m not alone in noting it’s basically Flo Rida’s “Whistle”, right? Have we touched upon this?

Big Money: That Flo Rida song wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Then again, my expectations weren’t exactly sky high.

Drew: …ah, shit. I’m sorry to bring this on you, dude.

It’s just, I get requested to play music a lot, so I’m pretty immune to terrible things. (Well, terrible pop music, that is. I’m still baffled anytime someone wants to hear Staind.)

Collin: Is this a bad time to admit I kind of do like Staind?

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