So this is Valentine’s Day? They can keep it!
OK, so maybe I shouldn’t be saying that, after all I’m hitched and as a decent husband I should be overspending today on flowers, candy and teddy bears in hopes that my wife will repay me in … making awesome dinner for me!
I’m a hopeless romantic, but I’ve never understood why we have to go out of our way this one day to love someone we should be loving just the same every day. Am I right or am I right?
Since this is a pop culture website I thought it might be fun to do a Valentine’s Day post that related to pop culture. The top love-making songs? Nah. Everyone does that. And if you’re on Spotify you can listen to my Candlelight Mix. Guys, you can thank me later. What about the top romantic comedies? They are a dying breed, but nah, something a little different.
A few months back I was watching one of my favorite movies when I noticed a character in the movie and thought, “Hmm…she’d be fun to go out with.” The character, which will be mentioned later, was attractive, funny, different. Which made me think? What would be the top 10 movie characters I’d like to date.
I wasn’t looking for the hottest actresses or characters. As much as Anne Hathaway and Scarlett Johansson were sexy last year in their black leather outfits as Catwoman and Black Widow, respectively, you, as my buddy put it, “don’t want to go out with someone that could kick your ass in a matter of seconds.” Jessica Rabbit nearly made my list but again, I’d be basing it solely on looks. Her personality didn’t appeal to me at all.
I threw this out to my buddies and the PopBlerd staff but the best we could do were a couple of TV show characters led by Antonia Marchette (Rebecca Gayheart) from 90210 and The Cosby Show’s Denise Huxtable (Lisa Bonet).
I was pleased when I received two lists that would complement mine, May’s entertaining “Platonic” list, which keeps things on the friendship tip, and Cassandra’s top 10 character crushes, which gives the perspective from the woman’s point-of-view.
Without further ado …
May’s Top 10 Platonic Date Wish List
I’ve decided to take a different approach to this. While it occurred to me to do 10 romantic celebrity fantasies, I decided to do a list of characters I find fascinating. I’d like to go on a platonic, “friend-date” (or whatever the hell you want to call it) with these characters. These are not in order of preference – they are in the order in which I want to execute these “dates,” that is, I want to go on a date with #10 first, and work my way down to #1. Unfortunately, I will have to move space and time (which is always a pain in the ass), as some of them are deceased. Others are not even real. They’re cartoons, such as…
No. 10 – Penelope Pussycat
Pepe Le Pew’s perpetual love interest
I need to know why Pepe Le Pew is so into this chick? He just never gives up. Sure, she’s athletic (a great runner), and has mannerisms that I guess could be considered “cute” (she says “le mew” instead of “meow”), but there must me something about her personality that drives our dear friend Pepe bonkers.
No. 9 – Huey Freeman
from The Boondocks
Wise beyond his years. Perceptive, and determined, Huey is the ideal kid – he’s intelligent, wise, an avid reader, and understands the world in a “big picture” sort of way. He sees how all the parts fit together. Grandad isn’t so appreciative of this aspect of him, but that’s because Grandad was looking forward to a quiet retirement, but instead has to raise two kids.
Here’s where I have to move space and time to get at these next two:
No. 8 – Charlie Chaplin’s character from Modern Times.
This guy is funny and smart. In modern times, he points out the silliness of some very common everyday things. He’s also trying to go to jail, as he has found that it’s a nice place for him to live, but he keeps screwing it up. The cops keep letting him go. I have to meet this person!
No. 7 – Marilyn Monroe
Part of me wants to see what she’s like in person, and part of me wants to hear all the dirt on the Kennedys. I’m sure I’ll find a way to make her talk!
…and now for the characters played by actors/actresses who are still alive:
No. 6 – Winnie Cooper
The Wonder Years
Portrayed by: Danica McKellar
No. 5 – Fez
That ‘70s Show
Portrayed by: Wilmer Valderrama
No. 4 - Negrodamus
Portrayed by: Paul Mooney
I recently went back and watched every episode of Chappelle’s Show in order, chronologically. Negrodamus was correct on every observation.
…and now it’s time to turn off my brain as I prepare for the last three…
No. 3 – Zack and Kelly
Saved By The Bell
Portrayed by: Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Tiffany Thiessen
This would have to be a double date, because I’m not going to be the third wheel on a date with these two. It’s another Gen X thing.
No. 2 – Janine Tugonon
Miss Universe 2012 runner up
I hear she has a great personality, but I don’t know if she counts as an “actress.” She’s damn hot, and she should have won the competition. I want to ask her all those dopey questions, like “If you could change the world with one wish, what would you wish for?” or “What’s your favorite color?”
No. 1 – Kelly Bundy – Do I really need to say that she’s the smart one from Married With Children. Well, maybe she’s not the smartest Bundy, but oddly enough, she is the smartest one in her group of high school friends. In one episode, as I recall, her friends are teasing her about how much of a smarty she is.
Cassandra’s Top 10 Character Crushes
No. 10 – TIE Robbie Turner
Portrayed by James McAvoy
Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
Pride and Prejudice (2005 version)
Portrayed by Matthew Macfadyen
They’re both beautiful and persistent, and stubborn, and passionate, and loving, and Elizabethan. *sigh* Men of that era who are gentlemen and not arranged husbands. There’s my weird (not really…) fantasies coming out.
No. 9 – Cameron James
10 Things I Hate About You
Portrayed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Can I just say Joseph Gordon-Levitt on his own? No, it’s only characters. Ok.. While he might not be Patrick Verona, Cameron is adorable and the “definition good guy” and you want to smack Bianca every time she uses him or turns him down. You have to admire his efforts as well as desire a man to make as much effort on you.
No. 8 – Owen Harper
Portrayed by Burn Gorman
Who orders pizza under the name Torchwood? Owen, who else?! He’s attractive, sort of a bad ass, but has a sensitive side, especially in the episode “Out of Time.” And he looks like he’s a really good kisser, refer to “Cyberwoman” where he snogs Gwen in a morgue chamber because if he was going to die, he wanted a good last kiss.
No. 7 – Ezra Fitz
Pretty Little Liars
Portrayed by Ian Harding
He’s the nicest guy, yet he’s not afraid to stand up for what he loves, as demonstrated when his mother doesn’t approve of his life choices. He has such compassion and great love for Aria, as if she’s the only person that matters in his life. No matter how many times they fight, they strive to make it work. More guys like this need to exist.
No. 6 – Jude
Across the Universe
Portrayed by Jim Sturgess
What a cutie! Two things, 1. He sings, and 2. The accent. Your heart can’t help but melt when he sings “All My Loving.”
No. 5 – Will Turner
Pirates of the Caribbean
Portrayed by Orlando Bloom
What a bad ass. He knows what he wants in life, and he knows who he wants to spend it with, what’s more attractive than that?
No. 4 – Giacomo Casanova
Portrayed by David Tennant
Ok, maybe I have a slight attraction to a lot of David Tennant’s characters, so sue me. But yes, Giacomo Casanova, a man of passion and beauty. If you’re Henriette, you’re one lucky lady. Not only does Casanova lust deeply, he loves with a burning fire. Somebody get me a cold cloth.
No. 3 – Johnny Castle
Portrayed by Patrick Swayze
Another bad boy turned sweetheart. Who doesn’t want to be strong armed into a passionate bumping and grinding, intense, sweaty dance sequence? Any man strong enough to lift you over his head while keeping time is a keeper. Nobody puts baby in the corner.
No. 2 – Tenth Doctor
Portrayed by David Tennant
More of the, take me to another universe, “I just want A mate” kind of thing. The prospect of having a best friend who has the capabilities of taking you to any relative dimension in time and space you want to go. Plus, the suit and Converse. And that hair! “Oi, Space boy!”
No. 1 – Patrick Verona
10 Things I Hate About You
Portrayed by Heath Ledger
Says Cassandra: It’s Heath Ledger! (RIP) This bad boy turned romantic dreamboat is the type of guy that girls wish they could change for the better. He’s fun, attractive, sweet when he cares about you and not afraid to show it, and takes you on great dates (paddle boating to a paint ball fight). Plus, he has great taste in music, so that just adds a lot of points.
Top 10 Characters KJ Would Like to Have a Date Night With
No. 10 – Princess Leia
Star Wars: Episode VI – The Return of the Jedi
Portrayed by: Carrie Fisher
My buddy and I argued this for a bit but ultimately I decided to add her to the list, albeit No. 10. Our complaint was that she was a little too bitchy in the first two movies. In Episode VI she turned it all around (yes, the whole gold bikini thing swayed the vote) by respecting Han for the scoundrel he is, but for the loyalty he actually has. She’s tough. She’s strong-willed. She’s determined. And she wears that gold bikini very well!
No. 9 – Zoe
Portrayed by: Kristen Bell
OK, so the whole gold bikini thing didn’t sway this vote (though she does rock it in the movie). But any gal that works at a comic store, can hold her own in a Star Wars conversation, can hang with your buddies as you attempt to hijack Episode I from Skywalker Randy and rocks the gold bikini is a keeper!
No. 8 – Andrea “Andy” Carmichael
Portrayed by: Kerri Green
The cheerleader captain ditches Troy the jock with the sweet car to run – in a short skirt – through underground booby traps all in search of a mystical pirate ship once owned by One-Eyed Willie. That’s right Andy was a Goonie!
No. 7 – Belle
Beauty and the Beast (1991 Disney film version)
Portrayed by: Belle
Sure she’s a bookworm, but you want to take the place of your father and hang out in a Beast’s castle? I’m cool with that. Plus, she didn’t take any crap from the Beast. But more importantly she loved the Beast for what he was on the inside and not the outside. You have to respect that. Plus, those brown eyes!
No. 6 – Mary
There’s Something About Mary
Portrayed by: Cameron Diaz
I’m not one that thinks Cameron Diaz is overly attractive, but in There’s Something About Mary the Farrelly Brothers did their best to construct the perfect girl, and well they did that. She wants a dude that can play 36 holes of golf and still have time to take her brother to a ballgame? I’m there! “Want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?” Are you kidding me?! Sense of humor? Check! Not only that but she’s a good person, helping her mentally disabled brother Warren. Count me in!
No. 5 – Skylar
Good Will Hunting
Portrayed by: Minnie Driver
She’s smart, has an English accent, will go to the dog races with you, shoot the shit with your buddies, has a great sense of humor and doesn’t care if you’re from Southie. She likes you for who you are, even if you’re wicked smart.
No. 4 – Joanna
Portrayed by: Jennifer Aniston
Up until last night I had Joanna as No. 1. It was Jennifer Aniston, my longtime crush, in a role that was different, more relaxed, more laidback than the Rachel Green character in Friends I fell in love with. No, she was a waitress that didn’t want to wear 37 pieces of flair, would stay up watching movies with you and more importantly loves Kung fu.
No. 3 – Andrea
Portrayed by: Uma Thurman
Plus, she wants a man to make her martinis, listen to Van Morrison, read the newspaper with her on Sunday mornings, and hear four little words before she goes to sleep, “Good night sweet girl.” That’s all it takes! Psst…used this and it worked! But the best line she says is the attached video, and I’d have the same response as Willie (Timothy Hutton). If the video doesn’t jump to it, it’s at the 1:10 mark.
No. 2 – Debi Newberry
Grosse Pointe Blank
Portrayed by: Minnie Driver
I’m not a huge Minnie Driver fan but she’s made my list twice! Debi Newberry is a radio DJ who loves her community, with a great personality, good looks and a great sense of humor. She’s a little quirky and a little on the goofy side but is forgiving. After all she did eventually forgive Martin Blank for being a professional killer – it helped that he saved her dad’s life but whatever.
No. 1 – Monique Junot
Better Off Dead
Portrayed by: Diane Franklin
She’s cute. She has a killer French accent. She loves baseball. She has a great sense of humor. She’ll stick up for you when the school jock/ski captain/jerk wants to pick on you in front of the entire lunchroom. She encourages you to ski the K-12. She supports you even though she knows you want to off yourself because of your not-that-great ex-girlfriend. But the best part! She can fix the Camaro that has been sitting in your driveway for months. That’s right … she has an accent, loves baseball and can fix cars! Win, win and WIN!
There you have it! Tell us what you think or who you’d include on this list in the comments below and have a great Valentine’s Day doing whatever you kids do these days!
Incoming search terms:
- something about mary
- Christina Applegate ass
- bell from beauty and the beast
- cameron diaz something about mary
- beauty and the beast characters
- christina applegate hot
- there\s something about mary
- kerri green goonies hot
- kerri green ass in goonies