What I never realized is exactly how busy I am. I mean I know that my time is quite occupied but I always feel like there are never enough hours in a day to get things done. I’m always running around doing something.

If I hear one more person ask me about my weekend in comparison to theirs…No, I didn’t see the latest movie. No, I haven’t been to the new museum in Washington. No, I didn’t throw James Junior a party for his birthday (record scratch)…There is no James Junior.

Okay, I realize that my life isn’t as adventurous as others. I plan on changing that but for right now I have work to do. I need to get this money. I’m not looking to be rich overnight or wait for the big pay day to live a little more. What I do need is to live a little more comfortably though. I want to go to the movies without having to worry about not buying a soft drink to chase the popcorn down because I couldn’t afford it. I don’t want to drive to Washington having a fear that EZ Pass will charge me $60 more than they did last month because I went through more tolls (you know they do that).  I don’t want my child to have to relive the part of my childhood when my parents were less fortunate and had to struggle for shelter.

By all accounts I am no Prince Charming when it comes to work and relationships. It takes a strong spouse to deal with a person in my profession. People like me are of a different breed. There is a lot of investment that has to go into a dreamer. When a dreamer attempts to live out their dreams, a lot of times there is no machine backing them. They step out on a leap of faith. That leap of faith might take food off the table. It might cut your lights off for a good 3 weeks. It might make your spouse doubt that you will ever reach success in life but still you have work to do.

I am not a quitter. I guess that’s what makes it ten times worse. I am the 21st Century John Henry (look it up if you don’t know the story).  But, all in all, I am not trying to hurt anyone. I am simply trying to reach my goals.

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