Me-ee aa-and Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones..we got a thiiiiiing, going oooonnn”. Her husband, who is also her pimp, is never too far away either so I have to watch out for him. Now, that dude is all about business. He does you favors but considers them transactions. Whether you pay now or pay later, eventually you’re going to pay but you’re going to get exactly what you paid for.

Mrs. Jones is just sexy. That’s actually her job; to just be attractive. She lures you in with her beauty; no matter the gender or race. However, she seems to have a bigger impact in urban areas.  I guess it’s something about her looks that appeal to that population and makes people desire her.

Are you not familiar with this couple? Well meet The Jones’ (prounounced Joneses).

I was watching TV recently and a commercial came on where a mother bought her son some candy red and white Nike’s. Now this dude is sitting on the sofa with his big bright sneakers and mom is saying something to the effect of how she knows how to buy the latest gear at bargain price to keep her son happy (don’t take this verbatim. I just know she bought them.) So all the while as he’s sitting there in Happyland, I’m thinking aloud “Those ain’t the new Jordans”. Now why would I want to blow his high? That’s just mean. Besides he still has lunch money is his pocket. I might have to skip breakfast and lunch for the next two weeks because of my new sneakers. I’m just kidding…one week.

There’s no problem with liking nice things but some purchases are just unexplainable. For instance, you really can’t afford those Christian Louboutin pumps with the red bottoms or that Audemars Piguet watch (learned that from a Jay-Z song) but something inside of you tells you that you have to have it even if you can’t buy a pack of bubble gum afterwards and in the words of Kanye,  “Just to be like n!gg@, you ain’t up on this”. You have no money for a rainy day but your new purchase keeps you looking good on a sunny one.

I admit I made a few purchases that I am very proud of visually but made my bank account look really ugly. I used to be a walking billboard. The latest Rap songs can tell you what’s in. Don’t dress to a song from last month. You might be out of style. And oh…no car? Can’t let them see you being average. Don’t take the bus; take a cab. You could rent some wheels but it might have the “Zip Car” logo on it; if not the logo then the out of state plates give you away. You’re from New York. Who do you know that lives in Arkansas?  But wait…who is “them” anyway?

Chances are the people in your circle either have a little less, about the same, or a little more money than you do. How do I figure? Well, if you flaunt what you have in front of people who can’t afford their next meal because of life’s hardships, that makes you an asshole. If the people that you are trying to impress are loaded, you have to keep this lifestyle up every day…E-V-E-R-Y DAY!!!! (although you’ll find that most sensible fortunate people wear average clothes. the objective is to make money; not spend it).

So in other words, cut it out…like some coupons of paper towel on sale (don’t act like you don’t know). There’s nothing wrong with wanting nice things but don’t live a paycheck away from flat broke. If you feel the urge, hit up eBay,… hell, hit up the nearest outlets. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’ Joneses.

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