When the teaser for vaguely anticipated threequel Men in Black 3 hit the web in December, I was…less than pleased. Little of what made the 1997 sci-fi/comedy cult classic (and very select parts of the 2002 sequel) so great – the chemistry between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and a colorful supporting cast – was present in the teaser. If anything, the clip acted as a fearsome reminder of what another lauded fantasy/comedy franchise might look like were it to get to a third installment.
What more can we expect from the theatrical trailer, which debuted online yesterday? Well, not much.
We still know that Agents J (Smith) and K (Jones) are still facing some sort of “mysteries” hidden among the scum of the universe. We know J will investigate K’s sudden present-day lack of existence by teaming up with a younger K (Josh Brolin) in the 1960s. But beyond that? Still no sign of Rip Torn’s blustery Agent Zed, nor Tony Shaloub’s loopy, head-regenerating Jack Jeebs. Not even that stupid talking pug turns up.
As far as new stuff, there isn’t much to be had, either, outside of those cool spherical motorcycles J and young K race through the streets of New York City. The principal villains, to be played by “actress” Nicole Scherzinger and Jemaine Clements of Flight of The Conchords, are nowhere to be found. As for that classic MIB humor? You’ll need your own time machine to remember when it was funny to hear someone threaten to “kick the shiz-nit” out of you, particularly when it’s from Smith’s mouth to Bill Hader’s decently impersonated Andy Warhol.
While we have several months before the film’s May 25 release date to steel ourselves, after two trailers it looks like MIB 3 may be the most ill-suited of them all.