G: Ready when you are, boss
B: I’m ready now!
So, it’s been some time
G: That it has. Holidays, travels, libations…
B: Well, not so many libations for me. But enough to make it a good week.
G: The last convo was a hot little menage a trois with Mike Duquette.
B: It was…a holiday threesome.
G: Merrymaking, if you will!
So, let’s get down to business with the first convo of 2012! Did we ever establish whose turn it is?
B: Erm…we didn’t.
G: I just had to look it up.
Alright. Since we both tend to spend a lot of time on the R&B side of the fence, let’s rock out.
B: I’m down to RAWK!
B: Wow, this one came out of nowhere!
G: That’s what she said!
G: Hey Blerd, do you still have those flannel overalls and matching top hat?
B: Wait, those are in my closet, let me grab ’em.
Question: Did anyone not raise a fuss about the re-spelling of the word “come” back in the day?
G: Funny you should ask! I don’t know of any formal bans that were in place, but a lot of the press opted for a less filthy spelling.
The Brits were pretty uptight about that kind of thing. Didn’t the BBC ban “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds?”
B: Ahh yes. I just don’t know when the word “cum” came into play.
G: So many puns, so little time.
By way of background, Slade was there at the height of glam rock in the UK. 13 top ten singles, of which 6 were chart toppers (this being one of them.)
B: This is one of three songs i know by them.
G: This wasn’t their highest charting US single – it peaked at #98. The previous single made it all the way up to #68.
B: Ah…just one spot up from my desired chart position.
G: There was a similar scenario with T. Rex around the same time. Bolan actually had more UK hits than Bowie
B : blinks. Really?
G: Yup (and you’re a filthy, filthy man)
Slade wouldn’t get their comeuppnace (cumuppance?) until 1983 via the much more famous cover version:
Oh God, the videos YouTube is suggesting to me right now…
B: It’s only suggesting other bad hair metal videos to me.
G: Me too, except for the featured video: “How to make your cum taste good” by an account listed as “LasVegasBarbie.”
B: So wait a second, because it’s been a while since i’ve seen this; did Twisted Sister totally rip this shit off? I’m not even talking about the song so much as the video.
G: These guys seem friendlier.
B: They’re wearing a lot less makeup.
G: Christ, how have I not done this at karaoke?
Wait, is this kid in the asylum?
B: The album WAS called Metal Health.
G: So this version hit #5 in the US, fueled by MTV airplay, no doubt.
B: 1983 was the first year during which MTV really mattered.
G: I got that oral history of MTV for Christmas, but haven’t cracked it open yet. It’s a hefty one, though I’m sure filled with great info.
B: DUDE! Read it, it’s so good!
So, are those the only two versions of Noize that we’re working with?
G: There don’t seem to be any (other) notable covers.
B: This is interesting. To my ears, they sound exactly alike.
G: That makes it interesting?
B: In terms of trying to decide which one is better, yeah!
G: Point taken. The Quiet Riot take really is absurdly loyal to the original.
B: Maybe the QR version has a teeny bit more ’80s to it. Bigger drums, more echo.
G: Glam was pretty teeny oriented in its day.
B: It was! i mean, This is a fun song but it’s not, like, a master class is songwriting or musicianship.
G: I have no real loyalty to either band. Each has singles that I like, but neither is a group that I’m seriously invested in.
B: Like i said i’ve only heard like 3 Slade songs in my life, and I’ve probably only heard two Quiet Riot songs in my life.
G: That sounds about right. I did see Quiet Riot once.
B: Really?!? Isn’t the lead singer dead?
G: Yeah, he died a few years ago. I saw them somewhere around 1999-2000
Slaughter, Night Ranger and Ted Nugent.
B: Oh, my God. You just got about 5 shades whiter.
G: HA! My dad called me from work and said somebody had tickets they were trying to get rid of, so some friends and I said “what the hell?”
B: Did you go for free?
G: Oh, absolutely!
And we left shortly after Nugent started because he’s fucking disturbing.
For what it’s worth, QR put on the best show…and I ended up seeing him again when he opened for Kiss.
B: Him and Gene Simmons belong together.
G: Pittsburgh lovessssssss hard rock.
Jesus Christ, we’ve taken a lot of tangents tonight.
Alright, I won’t say I’m torn exactly, but this one’s kind of a tossup.
B: I would go for QR just because it’s the version I know better.
G: Just to be spiteful, I’ll go with Slade, erring on the side of the original.
B: Why you gotta be SPITEFUL?
G: Just to keep you on your toes!
B: sad face
I will say: Kevin DuBrow’s leopard trousers are a pretty good match for those Slade costumes.
G: Astute observation.
B: I know…he went for the sound AND the look!
So does that wrap it up? we don’t have MD as a tiebreaker this time.
G: I believe that it does!
So, in the end, The Blerd goes with Quiet Riot’s more popular version (at least here in the U.S.), while Dr. Gonzo stays true to the original and pick Slade. Stay tuned for the next Cover Convo in two weeks, which The Blerd & Dr. Gonzo will perform while wearing Kevin’s leopard pants and the nifty Slade suit with the top hat, respectively.