While milfs (milves?) everywhere are going gaga over Michael Buble’s Christmas album and their daughters are pissing themselves a tinsel stream over Justin Bieber, what does that leave for the rest of us? Thankfully, answers have arrived in the form of a new song from Boston’s favorite duo, Halston and a video from irreverent rockers All Time Low.

Those of you used to Halston’s cheeky, danceable tunes might be initially taken aback by “The Snowman’s Waltz.” Is that a whiff of sincerity I detect? It’s certainly a different tempo than we’re used to. However, give the track a closer listen and that familiar irreverence rears it’s head. This song conjures up memories of warm nights by the fire, watching the stockings hang just so…at Fred Schneider’s house. And it’s probably better than anything on Fred Schneider’s actual Christmas album.

You can check the track out here or go directly to Halston’s Bandcamp page to download “The Snowman’s Waltz.”

…and that is snow on the single’s cover. I think.

Meanwhile, the guys of All Time Low take a different approach with the video for “Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass.” The video is set at the office party from hell. What do you get when you watch this clip? How about one of the more memorable faux-German accents, a hot girl writhing around, and…a masturbating puppet? Oh, yeah, y’all…it’s Christmas!!

I also feel like they might have missed an opportunity by not including a loop of Whitney Houston squawking “kiss my ass!” from the “Being Bobby Brown” reality show. Find it on YouTube. It’s a hoot.

You can find the song on All Time Low’s latest album, Dirty Work.