As most of you know, the East Coast was rocked today by a seismic, 5.8 earthquake that caused chairs to fall over, cats to become briefly startled, and a rash of hasty, terrified status updates. As most of the Blerd staff is located in the Northeast – with the exception of our Californian contributors, who regard earthquakes with the same concern as a hearty fart – we were notably shaken by this disaster. In remembrance of those who were
lost in mildly inconvenienced by the events of today, we’ve put together a memorial playlist. Never forget.
(of course, we also acknowledge that earthquakes have the capacity to be tragic events. While we certainly wouldn’t treat an actual tragedy in such a flip fashion, this appears to be relatively minor, on both the Richter scale and the grand scheme of things. So enjoy.)
“I Feel the Earth Move,” Carole King
Because, quite frankly, nothing could be more appropriate for thirty seconds spent with the earth moving under your feet than a song about… well, you know.
“Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground),” The Jacksons
Because, yeah, an earthquake may be scary – but there’s no reason it can’t be groovy, too.
“It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” R.E.M.
Because that’s great – it starts with an earthquake, as we all know. When the buildings are crumbling around you, there’s no reason you can’t distract yourself by trying to keep up with Michael Stipe’s rat-a-tat cadence and cheerful nonchalance.
“Gimme Shelter,” The Rolling Stones
Because the song sounds like the aural equivalent of utter destruction and chaos, albeit in perfectly rocking form. It may be war, children, that’s just a shot away, but be it man-made or natural disaster, you’re gonna want to take cover.
“Shakin’,” Eddie Money
Because he’s Eddie-damned-Money, that’s why; but if that’s not enough for you, go ahead and listen to the lyrics. The image of a girl shakin’ – and movin’ round and round – takes on a haunting undertone in the wake of the disaster. I’m not sure why she was snappin’ her fingers, though. People do strange things under extreme duress. Or during a stroke.
“You Shook Me All Night Long,” AC/DC
Because when the walls start quakin’ and the earth start shakin’, what else can you do but surrender to the rock? “Wanted no applause, just another cause to make a meal out of me” – a trembling Johnson recounts the predatory nature of the quake, an dead-eyed disaster devoid of pretense and motive – “and come back for more,” he finishes, eerily foreshadowing the inevitable aftershock.
“Feel the Shake,” Jetboy
Because, when you get right down to it, earthquakes have swagger too.
“Shake It Up,” The Cars
Because, sure, you can dance all night and play all day, but, as Ric Ocasek observes, you never know when something catastrophic’s going to come and, yes, shake you up. Sometimes literally.
“Earthquake Weather,” Beck
Because, well, duh.
“Rump Shaker,” Wreckx-N-Effect
Because, see, it’s not only buildings and widescreen televisions that shake precariously when an earthquake hits – sometimes it’s a big juicy butt. And search your souls: who among us, when faced with the possibility of certain destruction, wouldn’t think “all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom in a boom-boom”? Sometimes the simplest questions are the most poignant, dear readers.
Beastie Boys – “Shake Your Rump”
The Beatles/Georgia Satellites – “Hippy Hippy Shake”
Big Joe Turner – “Shake, Rattle & Roll”
Blackalicious feat. Ledisi – “World of Vibrations”
The Call – “The Walls Came Down”
Cinderella – “Shake Me”
Elvis Presley – “All Shook Up”
Eminem feat. Nate Dogg – “Shake That”
George Clinton – “Do Fries Go With That Shake”
Gregory Abbott – “Shake You Down”
John Cougar Mellencamp – “Crumblin’ Down”
Johnny Kidd & The Pirates – “Shakin’ All Over”
KC and the Sunshine Band – “Shake Shake Shake”
Metro Station – “Shake It”
Nelly – “Shake Ya Tailfeather”
Peaches and Herb – “Shake Your Groove Thing”
Prince – “Housequake”
The Stray Cats – “Rock This Town”
Did we miss anything? Do you have a secret earthquake playlist on deck? Are you offended by our mining of a reasonably scary natural disaster for comedic effect? (Actually, no one cares about that last one.) Let us know in the comment section, and we’ll happily add all appropriate suggestions.
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