Location: Somewhere in England. The phone rings.
“Hello, this is Sade”.
“Sade, this is Jay-Z”
Sade: “Who? Who’s crazy?”
Jay-Z “No…Jay-Z. The rapper? Beyonce’s husband? I wanted to talk to you and see if we can make a record together.”
Sade: “What are you , mad? I have a long memory, man!”
Jay-Z: “What? I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
Sade: (plays a snippet of Timbaland featuring Jay-Z’s “Lobster & Scrimp”, which features the lyrics “Now these girls wanna give me more head than Sade”) “That was you, right?”
Jay-Z: *sheepishly* “Um, yeah. But that was a long time ago, and I…”
Sade: *cuts him off* “You making fun of my forehead, huh? What if I made a record talking about your big-ass lips?”
Jay-Z: “Damn that’s foul, yo. All I’m trying to do is make a record with you. Why you gotta be all stubborn and bighea…um, never mind.”
Sade: “Go to hell, you Yankee bastard.”
*hangs up phone*
(record company executive calls)
Sade: “What is it, man?”
Exec: “Look, Sade…Jay-Z really wants to do a record with you, and…”
Sade: “Bugger off, then! Let’s just put him on a remix or something.”
Sade’s Ultimate Collection, featuring “The Moon and the Sky (remix featuring Jay-Z) arrives in stores and online May 3rd. She’s currently on tour with John Legend and I’m still debating whether I want to see her in concert.
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