I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I just call things as I see ’em.

The way our society is today-with all the financial ties different companies have in big business, do you think those big businesses would leave the outcome of a contest up to the general public? Or let something like talent actually decide a winner? I don’t know. I think a lot of folks have too much to lose to not rig results in some cases.

Back in high school, one of my best friends at the time told me that he thought not only the NBA, but all professional sports were fixed. Although I certainly didn’t believe him then, it doesn’t seem like that farfetched an idea twenty years later. You think David Stern wanted the Celtics to trounce the Magic in 4 games in the Eastern Conference Finals? Think of the ticket sales and TV ratings that would be lost. Whether as a result of someone cooking the books or not, the Magic’s win over the Celtics last night seems a little tainted…mainly because of the two unnecessary Ts called on Kendrick Perkins in the first half, which led to his ejection and potential suspension in Game 6. Shades of the Heat/Knicks brawl from over a decade ago which resulted in damn near the entire Knick starting unit being suspended. Does someone want Dwight (Elbows) Howard to score a trip to the NBA Finals? Not necessarily. Does someone want the series to be extended, thereby making more money for the league (or possibly a few select bookies?). I don’t know, but it’s certainly not a theory that should be rejected out of hand.

Which brings us to “American Idol”. I’m not a huge fan of the show, as I’ve mentioned before. The only seasons I watched in full were Season 5 and Season 6. I watched a portion of Season 7, only watched bits and pieces of the last episode of Season 8, and didn’t watch this most recent season at all. So, honestly? I know the names Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze, but I couldn’t really tell you what either of them looks like (although I snuck a couple of peeks at DeWyze on the internet last night and he looks pretty fuckable). In terms of talent-there seemed to be a bit of an uproar regarding Lee’s victory, but all things being relative, it doesn’t really appear that *anyone* deserved to win. The contestants have gotten lamer and less colorful (and certainly less unique) with every passing year.

It’s LONG been my contention that “Idol” is fixed. When things like record contracts and promotional budgets are bandied around, I don’t think Simon Fuller and his minions are really going to let an army of housewives in Minnesota with itchy cell phone fingers decide for real. Think about last year. Adam Lambert probably should have won, but his potential victory could have potentially scared off the homophobic, middle American contingency that makes up a good chunk of “Idol”‘s viewership. So safe, white-bread Kris Allen won. What do you think is the reason a Black contestant hasn’t placed in the Top 2 since Season 3?

Could my hypotheses be wrong? Absolutely. But I doubt they are.

At any rate, judging from things I’ve read, the “Idol” finale was boring as shit. I’m a little sad I missed Hall & Oates and Michael McDonald performing, but I did get to see Janet Jackson’s performance, and MAN oh MAN oh Manishewitz wine (I know I didn’t spell that right. Blow me.) That is one sexy woman. The jury’s out as to whether JJ was live or Memorex, but with a bodysuit like that on, does anyone care? Sweet Lord Almighty!

Check it out, quickly. Because I’m sure it’ll get taken down soon.

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