While my interest in anything Lindsay Lohan-related is almost always minimal, I must admit that I have a special desire to see her dragged away in handcuffs and get locked up, and it’s looking more and more like that’s going to happen. A bench warrant has been issued for the actress/singer’s arrest for missing a court appearance to follow up on mandated alcohol education classes. Lindsay took a trip to Cannes to prevent her upcoming movie, and conveniently misplaced her passport so as not to get back to America on time. I’m not usually this mean spirited-but this dumb ho deserves whatever she gets. Overentitled, undertalented people like her deserve a little bit of payback for being unappreciative and stupid. I smell an OD coming up in the near future unless someone gets this broad under control.

Same goes for Suge Knight, who got popped in California last night for pulling a gun on some dude. As a convicted felon, that’s an absolute no-no. This dude is the personification of evil, and unless he pulls some of his familiar poli-trix with the LAPD, he might be going up the river for quite some time. People, we got to do better.

Closing in on Suge’s rank as the most hated individual in hip-hop is Solar, who is better known as the right-hand man of Gang Starr MC Guru for the past few years and the guy who was in control of Guru’s business affairs when he passed a month or so ago. The internet has not been kind to Solar these past few weeks, and an article in this week’s Boston Phoenix suggests that Solar was a leech of the highest order, basically controlling Guru, cutting him off from friends and family, and being physically and verbally abusive. Far be it for me to judge someone else’s situation, but what 40-year old dude is gonna let anyone physically and/or verbally abuse them? Particularly when, from an outsider’s point of view, the person being abused was really the one in power? Guru was the one with the fame and the money. Couldn’t he have just stepped? Something about this situation is very, very strange, and I imagine it will all come out in the wash, eventually.

On a more upbeat note, a happy birthday to two of my favorite musical icons. A week ago, the legendary Stevie Wonder celebrated his 60th birthday, a fact I accidentally omitted while discussing him on the most recent episode of Blerd Radio. This man has been making music now for nearly half a century. Absolutely mind-boggling. And he still has it!! When you look at the greatest runs of creativity for a musician in pop history, Stevie’s seventies output has to be considered and ranked very highly. Everything from “Music of My Mind” to “Songs in the Key of Life” is essential, and the handful of albums coming before and after aren’t too bad either.

Also, Janet Jackson celebrated her 44th birthday on Sunday. While no one will ever talk about Stevie’s musical productivity and Janet’s in the same sentence (at least not with a straight face), the power of her most essential work (1986’s “Control” through 1997’s “Velvet Rope”) can not be denied. So much more than a dance/pop automaton, Janet (for good or for bad) set the stage for almost every pop/R&B female artist that followed. She’s damn near as important as Madonna, and her catalog holds up roughly the same. And she’s still fine as all hell.

While I don’t know that there’s any footage capturing Janet and Stevie on the same stage, I’d say they both deserve some video love on this site in addition to the Happy Birthday shout outs. And look for guides to both of their catalogs coming on Popblerd soon!

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