I was watching reruns of “In Living Color” this weekend and realized: yes, Jennifer Lopez can shake her ass.

I watch “The Cell” or “Selena” or “Anaconda” and I realize: yes, Jennifer Lopez can act. Kinda.

I listen to “Waiting for Tonight” or “Get Right” and realize: yes, in the hands of the right producers, Jennifer Lopez is capable of making a song that makes me nod my head.

But after listening to even a small portion of her musical performance on “Saturday Night Live” this past weekend? Jennifer Lopez should NEVER EVER SING LIVE EVER AGAIN!!!!

Lorne Michaels (or whoever the hell books talent for that show) should be ashamed of themselves. While J. Lo is certainly qualified to host the show and has proven herself to be an adequate comedienne, they and she did themselves a disservice by sending her out on stage to sing live. Point blank. Look, I’ve sung in public before. I realize that not every singer is gonna hit every note all the time. But Lopez’s SNL performance made Taylor Swift’s piss-poor rendition of “You Belong with Me” on the Grammys sound like Aretha Franklin’s version of “Nessun Dorma” at the Grammys a decade or so ago. It must have taken some restraint on the crowd’s part for them not to boo. You would think that being married to a fantastic vocalist would have rubbed off on her a little bit? Hell, it kinda worked for Bobby Brown.

(although I will give her props for attempting to sing live, something that Ashlee Simpson, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears couldn’t be bothered with the last time they performed on the show).

Here’s a bit of her performance. I am not responsible if your ears start to bleed or if they catch fire.

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