I was a pretty hardcore NBA fan back in the day-coming up during the glory era of Bird, Magic and MJ. These days, I catch a game when I can, but I’m not as much of a fanatic as I used to be. Hell, I missed the All-Star game this year for the first time in ages-although I was very happy that my man David Lee made the Eastern Conference squad.
Anyway, back when I was in high school, my boy James had a theory that all professional sports were fixed, and even though I don’t know if I can buy that when it comes to all sports, there have been a few moves within the past few years that have raised my eyebrows a little bit. There was Garnett to the Celtics, followed by Gasol to the Lakers, and now Antawn Jamison has joined Bron Bron and Shaq-Fu in Cleveland. These guys were all traded to their respective teams for next to nothing, and in the first two cases, those teams went on to win championships. Now, is this a case of certain markets being favored, or are there GMs out there who are legitimately this dumb? Hard to tell, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see LeBron hoisting up a championship trophy come June.
I also think it’s time for the NBA to retire the Slam Dunk competition. Back in the day, this was the most exciting of all the All-Star weekend activities. Now, it’s just a chance for B- and C level players to strut their stuff. The big name guys either back out or don’t participate at all. Besides, how many new dunks can you invent? Time to put it to bed before it becomes a parody of its…uh, too late.
Away from the NBA, let’s turn to golf. Cheetah Woods has scheduled a press conference where he will probably offer a mea culpa for cheating on his Swedish Snowflake with a lengthy list of hoes, and announce his return to golf. Now, I’m not a golf follower, so this doesn’t really mean a lot to me, but I have to wonder how many people are gonna stop following golf because of Tiger’s transgressions. I could go into a spiel about how hypocritical that is-especially considering athletes in general seem to lack common sense and a moral compass. But I won’t. I will wish Tiger good luck in his comeback and hope that the sex rehab took.
-Sorry, y’all. I couldn’t even WRITE that with a straight face.
Finally, the internets have been abuzz these past couple of days because director Kevin Smith got kicked off of a Southwest flight for being too fat. Now, I’ll preface this by saying I absolutely LOVE Kevin Smith. I’ve seen (almost) all his movies (and I’ll probably see “Cop Out”, which looks like it’ll be either an awesome movie or a total hot mess), I own all his books, and I have all of the Evening with…DVDs. That said, bro. Maybe you should take that shit as a hint. You’re what, 40? You’ve got a wife and kid who would very likely want you around for a long, long time. No, Southwest wasn’t right for kicking you off the flight, considering you were able to sit in your seat with the armrests down. While I’m somewhat sympathetic to your plight, I’m not *as* sympathetic as I would be if, say, you were kicked off of your flight for being a minority. Why? Because your ass can go on a diet. You don’t HAVE to be fat. I HAVE to be black. I HAVE to be gay. I can’t control that shit. You can put down the motherfuckin’ Twinkies, dude. Seriously, I’ve read enough of your stuff to know that you’ve tried to take off weight before (and succeeded). As a fan (and as someone who thins you’re kinda sexy when you’re chubbalicious as opposed to morbidly obese), I gotta say…take the hint. Get thee to the gym, get lipo, do something so we’re not reading a Kevin Smith obituary in ten years (in which case, I guarantee this whole Southwest fiasco will be mentioned within the first two paragraphs). Take all that energy you’re expending by whining on Twitter and use it towards a weight loss plan!!
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